<< swervin' >>
04.02.11, 12:03

Hey diary,
For some odd reason lately I have been needing to get some things off my chest. I think I have an anxiety problem. I can't take it sometimes that I am not perfect. Like today I woke up with an email from a good professor of mine that said no to writing a reccomendation I mean I understand but pretty bummed out that he couldn't write it its my lack of organization I dunno so I was slightly pissed about that. Then I decided to get back on the road again and drive well it was okay my dad makes me hella confused sometimes and the road I wasn't planning to go on I ended up going on which made me soooooo nervous. Then I decided what the hay let me go a little further to relinqish my fears of riding on this road this led me to driving further than I have driven before and I felt really confident about it. The just as I was coming up to my road to change lanes they were sooooo many cars and I couldn't change lanes. It sucked I was nervous and whenever I kept checking my mirrors I would go off the road it was embarrasing and I felt awful. My father said it was okay but I was reallt sad about it. U know I always want to put up a front in front of my dad but him seeing me swerving like that on the road made me feel angry at myself and angry at him after that I drove back home and decided to chill because sometimes my anxiety starts to blur my perception on things. I think I may need to talk to a therapist or something I dunno. Its funny because I was sooo angry about myself and depressed my trich didn't kick in which usually does. But anywayz I am going to pick up a family member tommorow which is going to be cool really missed them a lot. The diet I wanted to go on is bullocks now and I started watching desperate housewives on netflix....EPIC now I know why ppl were so crazy about it.....lov it! But anywayz I am gonna go to bed for another & BETTA day.
Mwah!

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