Hello it's been a minute haven't really talked in a while so I should let you know what I"m up to these days. So I came back from where I was studying and moved back home to my parents house. It sux because I thought I would come back and really just come back to the same ppl doing the same old things and I've realized that that's not the case I thought I would come back and get my ex back and live happily ever after....I still love him it's wild n' crazy and I know he's over me for realz but I still can't find anyone like him period. Well as I"m trying to move on from my life I encounter meetup NEED TO FIND NEW/BETTER FRIENDS someone said it was good so I decided to do it in my area. Well I joined this african group online and this african guy from the same country contaced me and asked me out on a date. I went I mean I just wanna have fun and haven't really been motivated to study for this MCAT which really sux 2 grand down the drain :(( <-- 'double chin' NEWAYYYYZZZ
so I go on this date open to new opportunities and hey it's 2017 so I"m going to take life by the kahounes and just SAY YES!! I walked into
Dames chicken and waffles and he was soooo good looking it shocked me I mean whhhhaaa?? We talked and he was everything physically I was looking for neatly dressed (the virgo in me squealed with delight) spoke very well. He was overall put together , well educated and had a job that didn't consist of quick rich schemes or hippity hop. So he asked me to his apt. and what did I reply with?
YES!
so we go to his place he pours some of my favorite wine and get this he's a news nerd!!! OMG I was in heaven we watched vice and we talked about politics it was *cough* well I thought we were a match for realz. Did I sleep with him hellz yes I did I had had any in like 4-5 months u kiddin' me?
The sex was good I guess my cousin was right about kalenjins LOL it was awesome it blew my mind and we fell asleep.
Next Day we were chillin' he worked at home and I was studying for MCAT and looking for jobs. I was really into my MCAT and he just picked me up and started making out with me and we just fucked again I was soooo elated I mean I felt that this guy was the one for me I mean he had EVERYTHING I wanted on paper and more. I was falling in love easily and I didn't know how to stop myself and we only had known each other for a 2 days. He kept telling me that he felt like he knew me and he wanted me to move in and my heart of hearts I wanted him to take me away from my GODforsaken parents home and let me live in his apt. for lunch we went to the bar and had some drinks I was in his shirt, sweatpants and hat and we were just in our own world. I felt like he was the one for me it was sooo uncanny. Next day, I left his place and couldn't believe THAT JUST HAPPENED. I had never felt like this b4 to the point that I wanted to show him to my parents I mean I felt like he was the one for me. He could handle me for who I was and we could live happily ever after. That Friday we decided to go to the movies and watched I am not your negro which I wanted to see anywayz it was nice and ate and we went to bed. Next day he was watching soccer and I was just watching it with him which was cool we cuddled I didn't know how much I love cuddling its weird. Then he said lets go to a garden I was like huh??? I love gardens we went to my favorite garden and he went around and took pictures. As I was walking around and admiring the tulips and the koh fish ponds I said to myself this is too good to be true....do I deserve this......has my prince come....ppl are right when the right one comes along you forget about the others. We went back to the apt. cooked food and picked up my shoes for my hike tomorrow and once we cooked and watched a show we both liked we were getting sleepy and I started to carress him wanted to get it in b4 I completely pass out. Well I tried and he yelled I"m sleepy!! I was shocked I just let go of him and felt ashamed.....I didn't know what to do there were so many emotions running through me I didn't know what to say since we were so new to each other. After this I just got ready for bed and went to sleep he followed after then once I was completely asleep I started to feel his hands climb up my shirt. I was extremely confused ummmm whaaat? Well because I have a hi sex drive I rode him till the cows and after he cum I was like what's up how come on the couch you didn't want to get it in but now on the bed your fine. He didn't respond and went to bed. I WAS BURNING UP !!!!! First of all I don't like it when ppl ignore me period I had sex when he wanted and my thoughts started to go into overdrive. Is this nigga playin' with me?? Does he have OCD?? Does he only like it in the bed?? Is he spontaneous at all?? Will my life with him only come down to basic, vanilla sex?? I was confused I wanted to cry but I couldn't I tried to hide my crazy and I lowered my heartbeat took a couple of breaths and after a while went to sleep. It was really hard to sleep because my thoughts were going into overdrive. As I fell into sleep because of thought exhaustion I woke up feeling extra confused and guilty and helpless because it's as if he didn't want to talk about it. He woke up like nothing ever happened and went on the couch and began to watch the tv. I was contmeplating in my head to I confront this issue head on or do I ignore it. Can I ignore it ....sorry I couldn't. So I woke up from the bed and encountered him. I asked, "Is everything okay?" He replied, "What do you mean if everything okay?" I responded, "Yes if everyting okay?" He replied , "You mean overnight or this morning?" My heart sank he may have not thought of it as a big deal I tried to hide the crazy I really did I didn't want to be the one to fuck it up like I always do so I said, "this morning" and he replied, "Really it's 8 in the morning estar it's early" I just felt like I lost the battle.... had I lost him too?? Well we sat there in silence just awkward silence I honestly didn't want to end it on a bad note like this so I just asked him bluntly if he wanted to go to the trail with me he said yes so I saw that there was a light at the end of this horrible tunnel. Well we got to the trail and this meetup was huge we walked all around and saw the sights and as he did that he held my hand was touchy feely and I enjoyed that I was honestly starting to feel okay about it and felt like this is what I was craving all around. When we finished the trail one woman said OMG ! I want this soooo bad I love black love and he replied, "thanks" I was sooo excited I always wanted to be THAT couple and I finally was I could see our whole lives together little did i know this was the beginning of the end. We came back had a meal and he read then he wanted to cuddle then we went to bed didn't really touch me and just went to bed. I left and he didn't text me for 3 days. I called him because I really wanted to hear his voice. He wanted to go to the movies and I was excited. I bought new clothes and did my hair the way he liked it and then he canceled. I was sooo confused and slightly hurt really?? was he really interested ?? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO????? WAS IT REALLY THE END?? I texted him are you intersted in me? It's his bday today and he still hasn't responded there goes my dream.....no more of that back to reality and back to my sadness it was good while it lasted. but I will say the take away is that they are plenty more ocean in the see and after I take this MCAT it's gonna be hunting season!

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