Hey pplz!

It's me again Happy New Year!! Can you believe we are almost 1/2 way thru the new year and it's starting to get warm and I"m soooo happy for it! Well Frosty n I are not together anymore it was my fault for going with that. He wasn't a bad person but he was attached to my past and I couldn't do that anymore. I'm starting to put a stop sign on my heart and just deal with me for a while and really just meet ppl. Last time I talked about having a salary job well it was a sham! Wasn't real so I was without a job for about 3 months and just stuck in the house and ashamed to let anybody know about it. Took me 3 months and I finally found a job and the crazy thing about it it's down the street. The work is hella easy my boss is hella chill but I can tell things are changing in the company and hey if I can just work and clock out n get a paycheck that's all I wanna do. I also got another work from home position and that one is starting in June and I'm sooo excited for that one as well because this is gonna be double the pay once things start rolling got all the equipment sadly no paid training so I hope everything turns out well for me. Been hanging out with some old friends and it turns out I feel really comfortable with them we go out and I introduced them to this meetup group and it seems to be fine. This past weekend I made out with one of them knowing the a blew him off several times he tried to make advances towards me. HE'S HOT ALRIGHT GEEEZZ THERE'S ONLY SO MANY TIMES I CAN SAY NO! Anywho yeah we hooked up .....he also fingered me it was amazing :) I think he brought my period so that tells you me relaxes me for me too. But once again I do these things that I act like i'm nonchalant about what's happening. Because we had a cookout and when his cousin left we started making out again and he asked if I wanted to do this memorial weekend since we are both going on this trip together. I was like thinking about it and redirected the question I mean it's whatever you wanna do (should of said yes). But then again if I said yes then I wouldn't be able to talk to guys outside of here and what would be the point of the whole trip? Why did he ask me that question too? I really like him but I also hate the fact that it's a really complicated situation with him too even though he's not with anybody at the moment. I don't know him like that to the point of what he wants to do in life and whether he is ambitious or not. I feel like he just wants to settle down too but it's really like HOW do you wanna settle because I was in a situation where the settling wasn't to my liking. But man! I have crazy sexual chemistry with him to the point I was even in shock. BUT I WANT MORE!! Lets look at what i posted previously okay to see if anyting has changed since last year
What I want in a guy
Successful----> still true
Okay for the woman to not work during pregnancy and early years of kids
wants kids
----> Now for kidz now i have some conditions for that do I want kids yes/no and the reason I say that is because this world is cruel place I don't want to have kidz with just anybody and i'm being honest and real about that. I"m african and I want african kids I don't want them mixed because this world is already hard as it is and being anything out of the ordinary is hard. So if I have kids it's going to be kids with a guy from the same country as me and hopefully same tribe ;)
religious -----> yes i"m not gonna lie christian would be nice
encouraging -----> I believe I'm an encouraging person so I would love to do that for my partner
empathetic -----> uhhhh duh!
kind ------> yes, because once you get to know me i'm a softy
LOYAL ------> it's hard to find ppl that have your back and that's what i've been looking for , for year
honest -------> this one I need to work on a lot is really asking for what I want I can't ask for an honest man if I"m not honest with him as well I need to be honest and ASK
physically, not really picky I've clicked with ppl that look out of my ordinary -----> just not overweight I"m a mental connection person

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