so yesterday yes yesterday I am just chillin' and all of a sudden sloppy decides to text me and let me know he's will be back in town and was asking if I wanted to hang out. Is he nutz! This negro video calls me 4 times this weekend and he thinkz he can hit it.....he's soooo misunderstood that. I like him I do but what makes him think he can tap this after the fact I saw him with another chick on my fuckin' bday weekend. I'm not gonna lie when I first met him i thought he was gay or bi or just liked my auroa or something so I entertained it. I started to think he was pretty to look at and he was really nice to me in the beginning but still i was really trying to figure out if he was bi, gender fluid, on the dL i dunno hella confused. I mean he's all about the way he dresses and who he is surrounded by HELLA superfical and yet he still intrigues me. He makes these stupid ass jokes and sometimes I wonder if he really thinks they are funny. I feel like he's this guy who was always quiet n nerdy and somehow he found his way of fitting into the crowd is dressing nice and being the center of attention. There were a couple of weeks I fucked him after I was badly ghosted by a guy that I had a hella big crush on for a whole year. i"m not gonna lie the first time I was just raw n really heart broken after that fiasco and maybe he felt my sensitivity but that sex was soooo passionate. I felt soooo in tune with him and yet was really weird because i saw him as a friend. The second and third time I was just trying to drown out some feelings that I had a bout the guy that ghosted me and it wasn't that great i was just overthinking shit. I'm soooo done entertaining guys like this guys who don't wanna commit , guys who don't wanna settle, guys who are still broken on thier past realtionships I"m over it and I'm over u sloppy i'm 3-0 now there is not time for bullshit. Also I'm trying to change a new leaf I wrote down things I need to do in my life. These college loans and CC payments are driving me nutz and it's tanking my credit score. There are real pressing problems that I need to deal with but sometimes I just feel so stuck with life like I don't know what I'm doing is right and honestly i'm just gonna try everyting. ......hope i get a new job though I really needz it.

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