<< reoccurring mistakes ; need to finally make amends with self >>
14.06.18, 2:14

soooo it's in the middle of the night and I need to make an announcement! I have been constantly making the same mistakes with similar men. I have always wanted to be chased but for some odd reason it's never the men that I want its always men that I never really want. So I go after them and eventually sleep with them and then many times I go for men that aren't worthy of me and I don't respect them so later on down the line I treat them like shit. They leave me and then I get angry and bitter about it. This was my previous relationship. Honestly, do I want him back NOOOO he has kids and I don't wanna be a stepmom but I feel hurt that he's moved on n happy and found a woman that accepts all the things I couldn't it makes me feel evil but it's me that's what I have to come to the realization. Now the next couple of flings I've encountered these guys they have told me that they are taken or they don't seem to be really interested in my for anything but sex. So I sleep with them thinking they will come to the realization that I"m more than just a fling and in the end they drop me and I get pissed and bitter about it when they are chasing and all over another girl. It hurts but they did send me those flags. I don't know what I emit where guys believe I'm too much or my standards or too high because I"m completely opposite of that. i'm going on a fast because I don't know where my direction is and I want someone to chase me and is nice. uggghhh I just want to sleep peacefully FOR FUCKIN' ONCE!!!

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