Hey okay so i'm listening to Rhianna's umbrella I really have no idea why....lately I've been wondering if I could ever have an intimate relationship with anyone seriously I get sooo freakin' nervous when I'm around the opposite sex (well the ones that I think are cute) and my brain shuts off. especially for this 1 person in particular yeah he's like perfect I mean well for me he is we've gone to the same schools together and he's athletic and he's really friendly it's sooo weird u would think it would work out with us together but i dunno I'm scared it might not work out so I decide not to pursue it.On the other hand there is this other guy he's been in my life a lot longer than the previous guy and I didn't realize it till after Christmas that he is really neat I mean we could get along a lot problem is that he is my best friends brother and I don't want anything like that to hurt our friendship. It's soooo freakin' weird I just realized it after Christmas well anywayz the problem is that he has a girlfriend who everybody thinks he is going to pop the question to I don't know how to think about that I believe he should go with the choice that will end up with a good ending (perferably the girlfriend) but we do have a lot in common we are both very close family friends we know each others mothers we are both born on the same week and he's nerdy like me mine is just better hidden. I never noticed it but he's funny and cute I don't know why it never donned on me b4 it's soooo weird thinking about this i'm actually chezzing really hard while writing this because I used to consider him a brother an older brother I never had! It's sooo weird I just need to see him again to confirm my feelings for him and if it is the same OMG I REALLY LIKE HIM! If not oh well they're other fish in the sea.

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