Dear diary I am soooooo stressed right now with what i have to do. I hate summer school to the core and just want to quit right now. The more and more i reasearch podiatry the more i think it is really interesting but at the same time I love my environmental science. Well i'm really hungry to and i am craving for some vegetable curry but i got to get this six page paper done pronto . But first i have to revise this shitty paper because i got a 66 on it i was surprised i thought that i had failed but then he said i could revise it and get a letter grade more which would be a C that's cool i can do that for sure. Anywayz my rough draft that is due tommorow i haven't even started to tell you the truth i haven't even got the 2 interpretations i was supposed to do yet. I just don't get it none of them are smiliar but a lot of them are different i'm trying to find one that are mostly opposites because that will be easier for me to write. MAN! I HATE WRITING IT SUX As for that I had missed the first day of summer session and i realized that i should've been in summer school the day after july 4th so i am also a little behind in math but the teacher is cool because he says that our tests are open book and open notes so i'm gonna pass this math test and never have to take those damn math classes again. Thank you block scheduling :) Lately i have been thinking about my life and the need for me to grow up now but i just can't seem to do that. First of all i should've gotten my driver liscense by now but that isn't happening because now i cannot find the time to read that handbook. Also i am sooo scared everytime i think of driving i am always reminded of my driving instructor (who was soooo evil to me ) she made me afriad of driving mostly but if i tell my parents they are going to say "eh" she shouldn't scare you i mean failing the test twice i really don't care about that , that much anywayz . With this i also realized that in order to get things done i can't be around people most of the time WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!! I am soooo afriad of people that it seems kinda werid I love to be by myself now . But at the same time i want to have a close nit friendship. Speaking of that when i am bored and not doing what i usually do :( I kinda think about my declining social life (with boys in particuluar) man! I have such a selection not! I still like this guy and i don't know why but at the same time i'm not getting the same response i give to him and sometimes i'm just want to give up and let him be but then when i'm with other guys and i come into contact with them he pops into my head i don't know why but it just happens that way. By the way i must be important to him in some way because i'm his #2 friend on facebook that's cool hahah. but at the same time his other friends are trying to hit on me and there's this one guy in particular that I love what we talk about but i listen to what my mom says (he's immature) and my other friends ( are you kidding me?) and his sex appeal (he's skinny and not that handsome) and it just come down to not being my boyfriend. come to think of it i really don't need a man right now because I can't do all that and my school work i want to be sucessful once i come up with a plan for my life. My mom keeps telling me that i need to do well right now but for my brain i need a long-time goal to get through this because this work is really hard and i need to see why i'm doing this. Now i have started to diet and excerscise and you know what that gives me 2 more pounds !!! I want to be skinny i really do it sux most of the pepople in my school are athletic and i want to look good too, Plus i want to show my sister that i can actually do something like that because sometimes i think that she likes that she's better than me. Also if i lose weight and become skinny i will have a self-confidence boost. But in reality sometimes i think i need to talk to a psychitriast because my low self-confidence is getting in the way of me doing everything.

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