Soooo I met this guy named T when he first met me I was just doing my own thing and he came around and got me a drink while my sister took off to get herself a drink. We talked he was cute didn't believe he was interested in me like that but yeah I went along for the ride. He told me good morning everyday and I was very confused because now knowing and owning up to myself I kept asking myself he is interested in me and not my sister. I have allowed myself to make myself believe that I'm not cute enough that i'm fat and nobody thinks i'm attractive i have bad teeth and a double chin but T saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself. And it's heartbreaking to admit that. This past weekend he was sooo nice to me I invited him to the wine bar he was very sociable but this annoying ass guy kept trying to talk to me he took me away and we went to a hookah bar he's sooooo giving like me which I love about him. He really cares about his family which is what I would die for myself. He is me. He has a past .....but who doesn't I certainly do I don't have the power to judge he knows nothing about my past really. He had ALL the qualities that I want in a person and still I was sooooo scared and a piece of me was STILL THINKING ABOUT THE PASSST WWWWWHHYYYY ! I hate myself for this we went to the hookah bar and there was a bit of a tiff that I personally felt was unnecessary but I understood why he did that and to be honest the owner was being a dick at the time. I loved how he stood up for his family but it wasn't that serious I know for him it was all about principal and I totally understand that. He was everything I wanted not rich but I knew we could work together . My fear, my doubts, my self-worth, my love of myself led me to trying to dodge him when he tried to touch me, kiss me , cuddle me. I gotta stop being so afraid and start living for tomorrow stop looking at the past because it's trash . God if he is the one for me please give me another chance I messed up he was a nice guy and I messed it up sometimes i know i can give ppl the cold shoulder his brother had passed away and I took my time to get to him because I didn't want to leave my friends place what kinda person is that. PLZ i know life doesn't always give you second chances but at least I would like to say my peace.

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