Hello it's been a while again. Coronavirus has hit and we all have a curfew @ 9pm and everyone is out of or working from home. It's been good and bad. There is this app called houseparty that all the Kenyans are on and they go on it every night. This weekend it was Sloppy J's bday and it was weird seeing him again a year after I hit him in his face over him regretting sleeping with me. I recently have realized with this quarantine that I am a particular type of person I require things from friends and my spouse things that I know have realized the old group of friends that I dealt with didn't respect or care about. Seeing him that weekend was weird but I didn't want him to be honest I it made me sad we aren't friends anymore but I can't be in that environment I"m not that sad or depressed I want more and I believe now I do deserve it. I can get it and I really don't care what people think about me anymore. If they think I"m a bitch , anal, prude I DON'T CARE because this world is big enough that they are others like me here. Is being a prude not having threesomes and hooking up with different lovers .....is being anal not defying the law by sneaking on to a dock that clearly the police have yellow taped? Yes that is me because as far as I know I haven't gotten into trouble with the law, I haven't gotten an STD and I'm single right now but I"m not being directed by a man and having this expectation that I will come crawling back to them because they sense my desperation of settling down. Sorry I know I'm 31 but I"m not going to put up with that PERIODT ! And I"m not going to relax about it. I know there is a guy out there for me that will just want to hook up with only me I know there is a guy out there that has his shit together and it nice n kind and AMBITIOUS. I know there is a guy out there that is okay going to ALL types of things not just black or african or white. Yes! I am different and I'm okay with that sheesh I've surrounded myself with a group of ppl that have different standards and morals than me and honestly I'm looking for my clan where I feel at peace because I've changed I"m sticking up for myself because I'm the only person that can fight for me! I know with this new job that I got can get me far I have a plan I have a path and thinking about where it can take me makes me HELLA scared and HELLA excited at the same time. I know this is the right path for me and honestly I look that all of my mistakes as lessons and also something that I need to move on from. Yes I was desperate for a relationship for someone to love me that I would do anything and allow anything but I'm not like that anymore. I know that for the past couple of years I have been hanging out with low -vibrational people and that's because I wasn't feeling good about myself. I know now that I"m my own human being and I can be stubborn when I don't like what I dont like and I know there there are some things I need to work on but hey everyone is a work in progress. I know I'm on the right path now and I like it. Can't wait for this quarantine to be over I want to travel, lose weight find my other half, become more spiritually enlightened and have a job with meaning. So far on my job aspect I feel it I definitely feel like I'm doing something that has some meaning. Any-who u guys stay safe & stay home I hope all of you will be able to come out with something positive during this quarantine because I know I will.

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